Many people have expressed dismay at the Big 12 requiring schools to move the bands from behind the visiting bench by 2007. I don't think that you people are really thinking this through. I wrote the Big 12 commish an email commending him on his decision and threw out a couple of ideas to implement by 2008. It is a little long, but I think that if you read it then you'll come around and see why this is the best thing to happen to college football since the forward pass.
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quote:
Dear Mr. Weiberg,
I was just writing to applaud your decision to force schools to move their bands from behind the visitors' bench by 2007. Placing the bands behind the visiting bench has been providing a huge advantage to the home team for years, and in my opinion this action is way overdue. I think that everyone can agree that marching bands have been deciding the outcome of college football games for too long, and it is very refreshing to finally have this problem addressed.
Since you have shown that you are willing to stand up to the intimidation and scare tactics that trombonists and piccolo players have been using for years to unfairly influence the games, I think that the conference is ready to tackle some more issues of inequality that are ruining college football as we know it. Here are two problems that I think could be addressed for the 2008 season:
Crowd noise:
I'm not sure if you've heard, but at some schools in the Big 12, fans are actually encouraged to make noise when the opposing offense is in the huddle and at the line of scrimmage. ENCOURAGED! I didn't believe it at first, either, but it's apparently true at more than a couple of schools. What happens if the visiting team can't hear each other when they're trying to call an audible? This could result in the visitors being forced to use a time out, getting a delay of game penalty, a false start, or even one of the players running a wrong route or blocking assignment! The possibilities of what can go wrong are endless, and no matter how you slice it, it's just not fair.
Playing conditions:
Novembers in Nebraska are cold. Septembers in Texas are hot. The elevation at the University of Colorado is 5400 feet while College Station sits just 318 feet above sea level. Anytime that a school travels to play in Boulder, they have to reset their watches and adjust to Mountain Time. And if you thought that was bad, just think about Colorado going on road games... they have to change time zones EVERY SINGLE TIME! How can we possibly expect parity and fair play in a conference where teams have to adjust to new climates, elevations, and time zones when they go on the road? I don't think you can unless you solve these problems.
I'm sure that you're already looking for solutions to these problems, but I don't think that it would be too hard to make sure that the game is decided by X's and O's and nothing else. For the 2008 season, all games should be played at a neutral site in a climate controlled dome located exactly half way from each of the two schools. Half of the tickets for the game can be given to the "home" team and the other half to the "visitors." The tickets could be randomly distributed by lottery, and during the first and third quarters fans sitting in even-numbered seats are required to cheer for the home team while fans in the odd-numbered seats are required to cheer for the visitors. Then during the second and fourth quarters they switch. Also, fans can't be allowed to dress in anything other than white in order to prevent anyone from knowing where their loyalties lie.
Some people would say that these "advantages" are part of the game, but if you give them time and just force these changes on them then they'll come around. Others might say that where the bands sit should be the choice of each individual university and not the Big 12 Commissioner. You just let that criticism roll right off your back. As the leader of our great conference it is your job to make sure that no one has any advantages over anyone else. This is the approach that the governments in Cuba and China take, and things seem to be going pretty darn well for them. With the leadership of the Big 12 making decisions like these, I know our conference will be just like these two great societies in no time.
I won't take up any more of your time because I know that you are probably working hard on finding solutions to these very pressing issues. I think that if we can get these things taken care of by 2008, the Big 12 will be ready to level out cheerleader attractiveness and mascot ferocity by 2009. Keep up the good work!
Your biggest fan,
bagger05
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