***** 2024 Houston Astros Season Thread ***** [Staff Warning]

1,057,839 Views | 22192 Replies | Last: 15 sec ago by Farmer1906
Prosperdick
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AG

Thank the good Lord, we finally beat those jackwads.
Maroon&Fight
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Damn, if you had told me at the beginning of the year that Peña and Altuve were both hitting .330 and Blanco had emerged as a sub 2.00 era guy, I would've thought our current record would be flipped. Is it bad I haven't given up hope yet?
Beau Holder
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AG
You know despite going 6-1 against Daddy that fan base is so fuming they couldn't get the seventh. They needed it.
agproducer
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AG
I'll take wins any way we can get them.
The Porkchop Express
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Definitley nice to win one when we really blew a lot of chances. Yordan and Bregman both did what we've been begging them to do for weeks. If we can get good SP this weekend, there's always hope.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
Mathguy64
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AG
I just saw Big Jon's HR. That man doesn't get cheated.
All I do is Nguyen
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Teddy Perkins
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AG
ASTROS WON?!?!

FrioAg 00
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AG
I'm still watching, and going and supporting. No wavering there.


But I've 99% given up hope for being a post season team this year or avoiding a long tough rebuilt.

But I have never wanted to be more wrong about something sports related.


Go Stros.
ktownag08
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AG
Prosperdick said:


Thank the good Lord, we finally beat those jackwads.


Oh how I've missed this pic!
AggiEE
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Did they say that Hader was the one calling all the pitches tonight?
W
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AG
yes
AggiEE
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W said:

yes

Interesting, how common is that with Astros pitchers so far?

I guess Hader doesn't trust Diaz and the gameplan they discuss prior to the game? Or maybe Hader just knows his stuff better?
The Porkchop Express
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Porkchop's Astros Shanks Report 5/9/24

Result: 4-3 win over the Jankees on the road
I knew it was over when: Quite frankly, I still can't believe we won. I think we left 53 runners in scoring position.

Where would Jon SIngleton's home run had landed if the facade hadn't been in the way? Long Island
Ronel Blanco is: 4-0 with a 2.23 ERA, on pace for a 17 win season with 185 strikeouts.

Jeremy Pena is: On fire, up to .333, tiedr 2nd in the AL in average, OPS at .846, and 5-for-7 as the cleanup hitter.

Alex Bregman did whaaaaaaa? Got 2 hits in the same game for the first time since April 28th.


Current record pace: 57-105. Yeah.
Record needed to reach .500: 68-57 (.544)
Record needed to reach 90 wins: 77-58( (.616)

Checking in with Wonder Boy aka Yuey Guperfido: 2 for 3 with a walk and a steal/ Batting .316 after his first 7 games in the bigs

What's Up, Jose? Altuve had a hit, #2,097 of his career, moving past Matt Holliday and Garry Templeton for sole possession of 238th place. Templeton was once the key figure in a trade that landed the St. Louis Cardinals some dude named Ozzie Smith. At the time, Templeton was the best SS in the NL and a vicious offensive weapon. He had a batting average of .305 in 6 years with the Cards and led the league in triples 3 straight times with garish totals of 18, 13, and 19. By comparison, Ozzie hit .231 in 4 years with the Padres, but we all know about that damn glove.

The only active players ahead of Altuve in hits are Freddie Freeman (2,157) and Joey Votto (2,135).

How about some Ozzie brilliance to end the night?

WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
W
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AG
it was TK or Blummer that first noticed Hader using the pitch.com on his hip

sounds like he wants to throw what is working best for him during an appearance

as opposed to pitching to the specific hitter's weakness
W
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AG
so Altuve should reach 2,100 hits in Detroit

very good chance to reach 2,200 by the end of the season
W
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AG
one interesting thing about Espada...

he's not giving the "stars" days off

Altuve, Tucker, Yordan, and Pena are on pace to play 162

Altuve hasn't played over 150 games since 2017
The Porkchop Express
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W said:

so Altuve should reach 2,100 hits in Detroit

very good chance to reach 2,200 by the end of the season


I love watching guys scale the record books and move past all these legends. I used to resist putting Jose ahead of Hakeem as Houston's all time greatest pro athlete but it's just not possible anymore.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
BadAggie
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AG
We need that guy
RED AG 98
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AG
Bingo thread deleted again.... sigh. What the heck is wrong with that thread????
The Porkchop Express
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I asked staff's help for moderation on some stuff, and they have responded by taking down my 2nd bingo thread. Since 10 people signed up, I'd like to provide occasional update here.
If anyone else would like to play, just go through the following list and pick 10 thing you think will happen the rest of the year. Send me a direct reply and I'll add you to the spreadsheet, which can be found here:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1edgd2SkGQFKtrwklFHDDTKOzVF5LFDK9c__Hwfz6olY/edit?usp=sharing

Here's the list. Things in bold have already happened.

ASTROS 2024 COPING BINGO


Pick the 10 items from this list you think are most likely to happen and direct reply me with them. I'll put together a shareable spreadsheet and we'll proceed through the season to see who does the best at predicting the future. If you stumble across this post past June1, you can still play, but picking something that is has already happened will not count on your bingo card.


Astros Bingo Card Pick 10 and direct reply me with your picks!


1. Jose Abreu plays in a game for the Astros again
2. Jose Abreu get released / retires
3. Jose Abreu gets traded
4. Alex Bregman's average drops below .170
5. Alex Bregman's average drops below .150
6. Alex Bregman hits his 10th home run of the year
7. Alex Bregman loses his stating job
8. Yordan Alvarez's average drops below .200
9. Jeremy Pena is batting .300 after 81 games
10. Jose Altuve is batting .325 after 81 games
11. Justin Verlander gets traded
12. Alex Bregman gets traded
13. Josh Hader gets traded
14. Framber Valdez gets traded
15. Lance McCullers Jr. pitches to a batter in the Majors
16. Lance McCullers Jr. has a further setback
17. Any Astro coach / manager gets fired
18. Chas McCormick hits 5 home runs before the All-Star break
19. Trey Cabbage appears in a commercial for HEB's Produce department
20. Yuey Guperfido takes over as an everyday starter in the OF or at 1B
21. Mauricio Dubon takes over as an everyday starter
22. Kyle Tucker hits his 40th home run
23. The Astros reach .500
24. The Astros lose their 90th game
25. The Astros lose their 100th game
26. The Astros are eliminated from the playoffs before September 15h
27. The Astros make the playoffs
28. Adolis Garcia tests positive for steroids
29. Adolis Garcia tests positive for steroids but covers it up by killing the test-giver in a fit of berzerker rage
30. Jeremy Pena makes the All-Star game
31. Kyle Tucker starts the All-Star game
32. Jose Altuve starts the All-Star game
33. The Astros win the season series from the Rangers
34. The Astros get swept in a series by the A's
35. The Astros get swept in a series by the Angels
36. The Astros get swept by a series by the White Sox
37. Martin Maldonado gets a hit against the Astros
38. Martin Maldonado hits a home run against the Astros
39. Martin Maldonado replaces Joe Espada a manager of the Astros
40. Jon Singleton breaks the record by eating the 200 ounce steak at that place by Lake Sommerville
41. Chas McCormick and Yanier Diaz combine for more than 30 home runs
42. Chas McCormick and Yanier Diaz combine for fewer than 30 home runs
43. The Aggies win the College World Series
44. The Aggies qualify for, but do not win the College World Series
45. The Aggies choke it away in the regionals
46. The A's finish with a better record that the Astros
47. The Angles finish with a better record than the Astros
48. Justin Verlander wins 10+ games for the Astros
49. Jake Meyers hits more than .250 for the season
50. Alex Bregman has 5 home runs or more by the end of the 81st game
51. Alex Bregman has 30 RBI or more by the end of the 81st game
52. The Astros break into the positive in run differential at any point during the season
53. The Astros get to .500 or better at home at any point during the season.
54. The Astros get to .500 or better on the road at any point during the season.
55. The Astros win 5 games in a row
56. The Astros lose 8 games in a row
57. Dana Brown admits in a public interview that this is NOT a good team
58. A Rangers' fan posts on this thread "by accident".
59. A Rangers' fan posts on this thread "by accident" and receives no ban. - now I think this might not be accurate, will require further evidence.
60. This thread is removed by power drunk mods within the first 72 hours its up despite it having no violations of any sort
61. Grae Kessinger records a hit on the Major League level for the Astros
62. Ronel Blanco makes the All-Star team
63. Hunter Brown gets his ERA down under 6.00
64. Josh Hader saves his 15th game
65. Josh Hader gets his ERA down under 4.00
66. Ryan Pressley gets his ERA down under 4.00
67. Josh Hader pitches a 1-2-3 ninth to record a save before June 15th.
68. Spencer Arrighetti gets his ERA down under 7.00
69. The Devil returns for Bryan Abreu's soul in payment for the 2023 season
70. The Astros trade Jose Abreu for Joey Gallo
71. The Astros trade Jose Abreu for Martin Maldonado
72. The Astros trade Jose Abreu and Alex Bregman for cash considerations
73. Kyle Seager and Marcus Semien get married to each other
74. The Astros fall at least 15 games out of first place
75. The Astros fall at least 20 games out of first place
76. The White Sox lose 110+ games
77. The White Sox break the 92-year-old record for worst run differential
78. The Rangers' season thread surpasses the Astros' season thread in number of posts
79. The Aggies beat Notre Dame on August 31
80. The Aggies lose to Notre Dame by 20+ on August 31

Thanks for putting up with me today (and all the other days)








WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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I asked staff to moderate the Ranger thread and a Zoo thread, and apparently that was their solution.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
RED AG 98
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AG
lol, ok I guess.
The Porkchop Express
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Check your DMs
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
Buck Compton
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AG
The Porkchop Express said:

I asked staff's help for moderation on some stuff, and they have responded by taking down my 2nd bingo thread. Since 10 people signed up, I'd like to provide occasional update here.
If anyone else would like to play, just go through the following list and pick 10 thing you think will happen the rest of the year. Send me a direct reply and I'll add you to the spreadsheet, which can be found here:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1edgd2SkGQFKtrwklFHDDTKOzVF5LFDK9c__Hwfz6olY/edit?usp=sharing

Here's the list. Things in bold have already happened.

ASTROS 2024 COPING BINGO


Pick the 10 items from this list you think are most likely to happen and direct reply me with them. I'll put together a shareable spreadsheet and we'll proceed through the season to see who does the best at predicting the future. If you stumble across this post past June1, you can still play, but picking something that is has already happened will not count on your bingo card.


Astros Bingo Card Pick 10 and direct reply me with your picks!




1. Jose Abreu plays in a game for the Astros again

11. Justin Verlander gets traded

15. Lance McCullers Jr. pitches to a batter in the Majors

16. Lance McCullers Jr. has a further setback

22. Kyle Tucker hits his 40th home run

33. The Astros win the season series from the Rangers

34. The Astros get swept in a series by the A's

44. The Aggies qualify for, but do not win the College World Series

55. The Astros win 5 games in a row

67. Josh Hader pitches a 1-2-3 ninth to record a save before June 15th.
txags92
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AG
RED AG 98 said:

Bingo thread deleted again.... sigh. What the heck is wrong with that thread????
I can't imagine what was objectionable about it in any way unless some rangers fan porn blasted it after I last saw it or something. Bunch of Astros fans want to have a little game to play separate from the big main thread with all the game talk in it. Help us out mods, is there something we are all missing here?
txags92
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AG
The Porkchop Express said:

I asked staff to moderate the Ranger thread and a Zoo thread, and apparently that was their solution.
Do we get a point for every time that #60 happens in the first 72 hours?
Ag_07
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AG
Because he was trolling. He was bragging about here
The Porkchop Express
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What?
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
agdaddy04
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AG
Sort of like racing for pink slips, can we beat Detroit this weekend and take their manager?
The Porkchop Express
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txags92 said:

The Porkchop Express said:

I asked staff to moderate the Ranger thread and a Zoo thread, and apparently that was their solution.
Do we get a point for every time that #60 happens in the first 72 hours?
Absolutely, although I might have to retract your point for a Ranger fan posting but not being banned for it ,because it looked like that might have happened. Stay tuned.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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Your picks are in and we're up to 11 players!
I like the hedge on LMJ both returning and having another setback.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1edgd2SkGQFKtrwklFHDDTKOzVF5LFDK9c__Hwfz6olY/edit?usp=sharing

WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
tjack16
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AG
So if we play at a .600 clip the rest of the season we go 88-74

Dang we've dug ourselves into a hole
The Porkchop Express
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W said:

so Altuve should reach 2,100 hits in Detroit

very good chance to reach 2,200 by the end of the season
He has 50 hits now, on pace for 219.
If he "just" gets to 200 hits, that would be 150 more. That would put him at 2,247 and tied for 173rd all-time.

2,514 gets you to the top 100
2,663 to the top 75
2,884 to the top 50

Only 33 guys have gotten to 3,000 hits for records dating all the way back to 1876. 33 guys in 148 years.

WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
All I do is Nguyen
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