*** CAPITAL GAINS: THE 2024 JOEY GALLO APPRECIATION THREAD ***

16,733 Views | 285 Replies | Last: 9 hrs ago by The Porkchop Express
The Porkchop Express
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Up to 6th in the majors. And 21 strikeouts in 14 games is a pace for 243
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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First at-bat of the day is a strikeout! He's dropped to 6th in the lineup, but his consistency shines no matter where he bats. that's 11 straight games with 1+ whiffs for Jocephus. Muncy really hearing those footsteps now!
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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The Sunshine Kid is now 2 for 2 on strikeouts and is tied for 5th in the majors, just 5 behind the leader.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
Dr. Doctor
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AG
I often wonder who is the poor schlub that has to compile all of the highlights for some of those barn burner games.

I mean with king donkey, that makes it easy to fill the 9 minutes of video. 4k ultra high resolution of those strike outs. But for the visiting teams? Man...

~egon
The Porkchop Express
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Oh my, it's a second straight hat trick for Gallo Loco. We are rapidly approaching MAXIMUM DONKAGE.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
Dekker_Lentz
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AG
I worry that Teoscar Hernndez may give our hero a run for his money this year.

He looks locked in to strike out in bunches and is locked into a permeant role. Any other players looking scary this time of year?
The Porkchop Express
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DONKEY WATCH:
Nationals blew a 6-1 lead by giving up 6 in the bottom of the 6th to Oakland.
Trailing 7-6, they are headed to the top of the ninth.
Donkey is batting second. he is 0 for 3 with 3 whiffs and a walk, set up for his first golden sombrero of the seaso.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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HE HAS DONE IT
GOLDEN SOMBRERO

WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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This is the NINETEENTH Golden Sombrero of Donkey's career.
He has surpassed Mark Reynolds in this category, and is now tied for 6th all-time with Adam Dunn and Bo Jackson.

WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
DeProfundis
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We're going to need a few solo homers and walks in the upcoming games to make sure he keeps hitting 2nd
The Porkchop Express
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KNOCK KNOCK

WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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New leader in the clubhouse is Nolan Jones, an outfielder from Colorado with 28 K in 16 games and hitting .190. Somebody's trying to out-Joey Joey. Jones is currently on pace for 284 strikeouts this year. I have no idea why Colorado keeps playing him. He's got 1 home run and 6 RBi this year. Of course I also don't know is on the Rockies at all. In my hazy memory, their team includes Bichete, Galarraga, Vinny Castilla and Ellis Burks. Last year Nolan Jones had 126 K in 106 games and hit 20 HR with a .931 OPS. So this year he just sucks.

I have now looked at their roster. I knew 3 players.

Also in the mix is O'Neil Cruz, the Pirates young shortstop whose parents apparently thought Oneil was a first name. it isn't. ONeil has a dazzling 3 walks this year in 65 at-bats. That's Javier Baez bad. That's a pace of 263 strikeouts and 30 walks.

No surprise that King Donkey is crushing it with a .140 average and exactly one single out of his 7 hits.

Muncy and Hernandez from LA are concerns because both are producing quite a bit meaning they'll be in the lineup a lot. Hernandez is in the top 5 in the majors in RBI.

Tonight's a real showdown as Joey returns to LA where he helped the Dodgers go 32-12 in 2022, and then could only watch helplessly as they crapped the bed in the playoffs today. A ticker tape parade is expected in his honor.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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Big Donkey doesn't have a K yet tonight, but he just stuck it to the Dodgers with an RBI double to give the Mats a 3-2 lead in the 4th inning. It's his 8th hit of the year, 1 single, 4 doubles, 3 HR. And he's up to 5 RBi and a .154 average. What could have been, Dodger fans!
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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Big Donk got a strikeout late last night to run his consecutive games streak to 12 and stay in 5th in the whiff race. Both Dodgers failed to strikeout, so he closed the gap a bit, but Colorado's Nolan Jones had 2 and is the first guy to 30.

Joey moved into a tie for 208th place all-time with Jason Bay and Jason Varitek at 1,216 strikeouts. Both of thsoe guys needed at least 2,000 more plate appearances than JoFu to get there. Varitek had a nice run of five out of six seasons with at least 106 strikeouts, topping out at 126 in 2004.

Jason Bay I completely forgot about. He had an incredible (for real) start to his career i Pittsburgh, including back to back years with an OPS of .961 and .928 where he was an all-star and an MVP candidate. He was part of a huge 3-team deal that saw him wind up in Boston and Manny Ramirez go to the Dodgers, and had a huge 2009 as well.

Then like many before him, he decided it was a good idea to sign a huge contract with the Mets. His first year, he suffered a concussion and only played 95 games and his second year he was on the DL in 2011 and again in 2012. He only played 288 games for the Mets in 3 seasons, hitting 234. They agreed to terminate his deal early and make him a free agent after he hit .165 in 2012. he signed a 1 year deal with Seattle i 2013, was terrible, and retired. Even now he's only 45 years old.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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Joey's batting cleanup tonight! Best .151 cleanup hitter in ML history?
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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Our Man Joe has picked up his first strikeout of the evening and it feels like the stars are starting to align this year. He is up to 27 strikeouts and has tied Dodgers' Teoscar Hernandez and Max Muncy for 4th in the Majors. You are seeing those two guys freeze up in the face of the One True Donkey. Neither had a strikeout yesterday, and Hernandez has failed to get one today. Muncy's too scared to even go out there against Joey!

Earlier today, Oneil Cruz took over the MLB strikeout race with 2 to get to 31, while Colorado's Nolan Jones somehow went 0 for 4 but didn't whiff. But I'm burying the lead because ex-Asro and AI voice box Jose Siri had a golden sombrero today in 13 innings against the Angels, and he is now third with 28 whfifs.



WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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There's #2 on the night and #28 of the season for Joey! He's got at least one more at-bat to come and he's up to a tie for third in the majors.

I feel like his previous employers should all be jamming on their head phones to Vertical Horizon right now.

Joey's everything you want, he's everything you need.
He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be.
He swings at all the bad pitches at exactly the wrong times
But he means nothing to you and you don't know why.

As of 10:47 p..m. CDT, Joey ha struck out 11 times in the last 4 days
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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Yup, he did it again. After I went night-night on Tuesday, Joey Gallo had a 3rd strikeout in Chavez Ravine. he's gone from 11th to 3rd in whiffs in five days and is just 2 behind leader Oneil Cruz. Joey hasn't been in the lead of the strikeout chase since the end of the 2021 thanks to illness and politics. Now he's chasing down the front-runners like a mako shark pursuing a harbor seal, assuming the mako shark had little-to-no discipline on breaking stuff outside of the strike zone.

He's on pace for 276 strikeouts.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
DeProfundis
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Flying too close to the Sun
The Porkchop Express
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Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo has 2 more KS and a walk today. He is 1 K behind Oneil Cruz for the MLB lead!
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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Joey at the bat in the top of the ninth with a chance to take the K lead and the c hicken shot dodgers hit him.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
YokelRidesAgain
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AG
The Porkchop Express said:

Joey at the bat in the top of the ninth with a chance to take the K lead and the c hicken shot dodgers hit him.


Bastages!!!
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YokelRidesAgain
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Donkus Magnus raises his whiffing average to a superhuman .525 (31Ks/59 ABs)!
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YokelRidesAgain
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The HBP was, no doubt, ordered by looser moran Dave Roberts, who ran Donkey out of Chavez Ravine due to jealousy.

Dave's career whiffing average was a pathetic .134, with only 362 Ks in 2707 at bats.

The Donk has 1219 strikeouts in 2703 at bats.

Dave hates him because he ain't him.
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The Porkchop Express
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A matchup of two giants of the game returns tonight in our nation's capital. Two surefire future Hall of Famers.

Justin Verlander vs. Joey Gallo

They've faced each other 37 times so far, and the advantage is pure Joey.
3 hits, 1 homer 6 walks for a scintilating .243 on-base percentage
Not a lot of guys can have a higher on-base percentage than slugging percentage, but he's done that too. Slugging checks in at .194.
Strikeouts? 14 in 31 official at-bats, a 45.2% whiff rate.

WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
YokelRidesAgain
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AG
SCANDAL!!!

OUTRAGE!!!

WHERE IS JOEY? HE'S NOT IN THE LINEUP!
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toucan82
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Should be a fireable offense
The Porkchop Express
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There's a quote from Mean Joe Green that is appropriate tonight.

When the best don't meet the best, everyone gets cheated.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
DeProfundis
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Donk sighting. Pinch hitting down 7-2 in the 8th
The Porkchop Express
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THATS HOW YOU DONKEY
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
DeProfundis
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If you whiff it then it is no dream
-Theodor Donkzl

Gallo rallied back from a blown ball called on a pitch 5" inside the strike zone, to K looking.
YokelRidesAgain
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AG
DeProfundis said:

Gallo rallied back from a blown ball called on a pitch 5" inside the strike zone, to K looking.
A lesser man would have panicked and accidentally hit a double, but Joey just choked up on the bat, closed his eyes even tighter, and struck out on several balls.

He has tied Jose Siri of the Devil Rays, who was also scandalously benched this evening by a jealous manager, for 2nd in MLB.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
DeProfundis
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We're going to need a bases empty double, a few BB's and solo homers soon. The donk is on an amazing run right now but few appreciate the artistry behind 14 K's in your last 18 AB's



The Porkchop Express
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Joey whiffs for a second time to go to extras
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
Aggies2009
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AG
The Porkchop Express said:

Joey whiffs for a second time to go to extras


Might've been the plan all along. Just get to extras cause it's an automatic W against the 7-15 Astros in extras.
 
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